This Funny Citroën Sticker Advertises How Much Faster A Slow-Ass Hatchback Is Than You Running In Nikes, At Least

Last weekend at the Best of French and Italy show, one of my favorite automotive events in California, I spotted a window sticker on an obscure 1980s hatchback that made me laugh. It was on a Citroën LNA, a tiny ’lil thing based on the Peugeot 104 that was introduced in 1978 with a two-cylinder engine. 1981 brought a more powerful four-cylinder model, and this sticker advertises how fast the four-cylinder LNA is — compared to you running in your sneakers, at least.

The sticker, which has a photo of an LNA and a pair of sweet red Nike shoes, says “J’ai chaussé la nouvelle Citroën LNA 4 cylindres... et mes baskets font le 400m en 19"6.” I only took one year of French, in sixth grade, so I ran it through Google translate, which says it reads “I put on the new Citroën LNA 4 cylinders... and my sneakers do the 400m in 19.6 seconds.” Like, look how fast you’ll be in your sneakers if you drive this car instead of run. 400 meters in under 20 seconds? That’s way faster than the world record for sprinters, which currently stands at 43.03 seconds and was in the high-40s back in the ‘80s.

And me, someone who does not run? If I had my cool red Nikes on, I certainly couldn’t run 400 meters in 19.6 seconds. That seems like covering such a long distance in a short amount of time. Of course I will drive my Citroën LNA, which can do the 400 meter quickly! Problem is, the LNA is actually slow as shit. That more powerful four-cylinder engine only makes 48 horsepower, about a dozen more than the two-cyl. Top speed? Just about 90 mph. Online reports vary, but 0 to 60 mph seems to be at least 20 seconds. Those figures were all when new, mind you. Forty years later? I think I’d rather run in my Nikes.

The photos below were of this same LNA just at a different show back in 2021: